I just got off of the phone with my doctor and my biopsy results came back malignant. That spot in my liver is cancer.
As I mentioned before, bad things happen to good people. No matter how hard we pray, things don't turn out the way we had hoped.
He is going to take me out to dinner tonight. Somewhere insanely expensive with slow service, cappuccino, and really good dessert. We are going to take a long, long time over dinner. We are going to hold each others' hands like we're afraid we might fall off the side of the earth if we let go. We are going to look into each others' eyes because we don't want to imagine a day when we won't be able to see the face we love so much.
After that dinner, we will be fine. We will be ready to fight. We trust the doctors. The doctors point blank said I have more than just six months or one more year to live. We are not yet at the stage where we talk time lines and statistics. They believe I still have a very long life ahead of me.
My life is just going to be so terribly difficult. There will be many more tests, and more pain, and many, many, many, many, many more drugs. But tomorrow, we will wake up and the sun will be shining. We will be in love and we will continue with this beautiful thing that we call life.
I may be sick, but I am still alive. Tonight we will cry, but tomorrow, I promise you, I will be smiling.
The Big Man is a saint. I cherish him. He is my angel. We don't deserve this.
So we are off to feel sorry for ourselves. I hope all of you can take tonight and look around at your husbands, wives, children, parents, friends. Hold on a little longer than is usual. Pull someone a bit closer. Thank God for a peaceful evening; not everyone is blessed with one tonight.