Friday, October 7, 2011

The Importance of October

October is here again and the newspapers are full of opinion pieces about the commercialization of breast cancer. People are arguing, yet again, that we are "pink washed" and that this Breast Cancer Awareness Month takes away from other cancer research.

This couldn't be further from the truth. I have been on dozens of drugs that are actively used to treat a plethora of solid tumor cancers like lung, prostate, pancreatic, GI, and liver. Dollars raised for cancer research - any kind of cancer research- are a good thing, period.

It just so happens that pink is a pretty color. Pink resonates with a large segment of the population. Marketing and PR skills, so often used for bad in our country, are finally dedicated to a noble cause. Everyone needs to stop talking, stop criticizing, stop complaining, and simply take action. Stop wasting your breath throwing stones at what is meant to be a positive effort, get off your soapbox, and start taking action for that cancer or cause that stirs your soul. People are dying while we debate the value of the color pink. People are dying- remember that.

There isn't enough pink in this world. Every time someone dies from this terrible, painful, scary disease, another pink ribbon needs to be born. That is why I re-branded my blog for October. Do you like?

As if I needed a reminder, as if I needed another fire lit under my bottom, October 2011 commenced in the Spence household with a harsh reminder of the urgent need for a cure.

Last week, my routine weekly bloodwork showed a sharp increase in my tumor markers. The Good Doctor was concerned; she ordered CT scans. On October 3rd, 2011, I found myself in my familiar CT tunnel fighting back tears.

Here we go again.

My cancer is getting more and more aggressive. The Good Doctor delivered terrible news this week. Instead of two small tumors in my liver, I am now facing a much greater hurdle. There are now "several more" spots in my liver, and the old existing spots have tripled in size. From 7mm to 26mm and 32mm respectively. They also now see spots in both my lungs, and evidence of cancer in my bones. I have small spots in both hip bones and in my low back.

I am scared.

I am looking forward to going to church this weekend. I need consolation and some advice that only prayer can provide. I don't know how to enter this new chapter gracefully. My doctor tells me we are no longer in control. The cancer is in control. We are now the underdog. We now have to fight to regain control.

Don't get me wrong: I plan to fight. I have been screaming at the ceiling. I am only 28. I have only just begun. I have so many hopes and wishes and plans. I want more time. I'm not ready. At the same time, I also don't want to be brave anymore. I don't want to put on a smile and get on with everyday life when I have to fight so hard for every precious moment. I just want to curl up with my loved ones and be cared for. I am tired and I want to stop fighting.

But I can't. There's too much at stake to stop fighting. If breast cancer takes me down, then I'm going to go down swinging.

This October, I'm going to lose my hair for the second time. My wig has been brought out of storage and visited the hairdresser for an update. It stands at the ready in my walk-in closet. It's scaring the dog. She barks at it.

I'll be celebrating breast cancer awareness month with an electric razor and a mirror. How will you be spending your breast cancer awareness month?

66 comments:

Ashley said...

Thank you for speaking the truth about what's important ... about the pink wars. Fighting about a color is so completely irrelevant when beautiful people like yourself are in the fight of their lives. I will keep you in my prayers that you will find peace, guidance, and comfort from the pain — both physical and emotional — in the days to come.

Jay Furr said...

Bridget, I'm so damn sorry that you're getting bad news. Again.

I never really know what to say to someone who's going through what you're going through other than I understand that you're scared, you have a RIGHT to be scared, and that you're in our prayers.

And that as long as you and people like you are fighting cancer, I won't stop walking and fundraising.

:(

Patty said...

Dear lord Bridget! You shouldn't have to take any more! You have fought so hard, it is time for you to be able to sit back and enjoy a victory. I wish there was something I could do to take on some of this fight for you. Somehow sending cookies just doesn't seem like enough. Just know that I am concentrating all of my energy to you and your healing so you don't have to do it on your own. There are so many of us pink warriors pulling for you that, hopefully, the cancer doesn't stand a chance. Much love! Patty

Robyn Clark said...

Bridget, as always you have put the world into perspective so bravely and eloquently, all the while fighting this ultimate battle. While I admire your strength, I understand how exhausted you must be from carrying this weight on your shoulders. I so wish there was something more I could do - but know that you are in my thoughts and there are so many people fighting with you. I will never stop walking, I will never stop fundraising, and I'll always have my pink on for you.

Shares cube with Crazy Cubemate said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shares cube with Crazy Cubemate said...

So sorry to hear the news. Keep fighting! I wanted to suggest a book that might interest you - The China Study by T. Colin Campbell. He specifically talks about how diet plays a role in cancer and how people have been able to reverse tumor growth. For someone who has been through so many treatments, I thought you might be interested in giving it a chance.

Debi said...

Bridget, I don't know what to say except I love you, I'm praying for you, and I am raising every possible dollar I can to keep you here with us, to win this battle with you, to regain control. My heart goes out to you and your family. I am so sorry. Let me know if there is ANYTHING I can do for you ... and know I am walking FOR YOU, always, until there is no more reason to walk and we have a cure. xoxo - Debi R

Anonymous said...

Bridget I too share your view on Pinktober. IMO anything that can bring more money for research, more awareness for early detection is a good thing. I'm wishing you NED in the near future.

~ lago

Cruikshank Family said...

I appreciate you, Bridget. You are such a rock, even though you must feel like you're getting thrown around in a tumbler. I share your blog with my TaTa Towing Team in Dallas, and you inspire all of us. I have started sharing your stories verbally with a friend of mine, Julie, who's fighting Stage IV colon cancer. It's moved to her liver and lungs, and the chemo is brutal. But, as a divorced mom of two high school boys and a computer teacher at a Frisco elementary school, she has the same amount of fight and determination you do. Wow, is all I can say.
God's agenda for you is something we want to take a peek at, but you just keep on keepin' on, sister.
WE LOVE YOU IN TEXAS!!!
-Gayla
P.S. Thank you for sharing the information about Komen and Planned Parenthood. Too many people are so mis-informed an opinionated.

D'Lyn said...

Sweet Bridget, we are praying for you in Texas!! And we've completely Pinked it Out around here!! We WILL find a CURE!!! Praying God's arms hold you extra-tight tonight!!!
Big Hugs,
D'Lyn

Amy said...

ffsaWell that just stinks! I'm praying for you and all the people who complain about taking away from other cancers can just stick it, or get after it for the cancer that has affected their life! Hang in there my dear one! You are in my prayers!

Beryl said...

Bridget, I'm a friend of Dusty's through the 3Day in Tampa and got to your blog through his FB. I'm so very sorry about your news and I'm sending all of my positive energy and prayers to you. I'm just passed my 3 yr. survival date and needed to be reminded that I have so many sisters still fighting the fight. I know that God is holding you in his arms and I pray for your comfort and peace. Keep fighting, we're with you.

Kara said...

Everyone here has already said what I would want to say. I'm pulling for you, so hard, and shake my head in amazement over all you've been faced with. Much love.

Karin said...

Hey Bridget. I'm sorry. This sucks and I can only imagine what you're going through every moment. We're all praying for you and pulling for you - I wish there was something more... please know that you'll be in my heart next weekend during the 3-Day - wearing that pink, trying to raise that awareness.

If there's anything that you need, please get in touch and I'll do whatever I can. Wish I could reach out and give you a giant gentle hug. Thank you for continuing to share your story - your life with all of us.

Sending lots of prayers your way,
Karin

Anonymous said...

"Have no fear, Underdog is here!" Remember that Underdogs can kick ass too, Bridget!

Mona keegan said...

Bridgett - We will never stop fighting; never stop walking and NEVER EVER stop wearing pink.
You are the reason why and we will always have your back!
Much love and energy as you embark on your new treatment.

Fellow Pink Warrior - Mona

Patty @-->- said...

Praying for you Bridget.

Carole Furr said...

"Stop wasting your breath throwing stones at what is meant to be a positive effort, get off your soapbox, and start taking action for that cancer or cause that stirs your soul. People are dying while we debate the value of the color pink."

You are so right, Bridget. People who complain about "pinkwashing" are really uncomfortable that they haven't found their meaning and their cause yet. I know, because I used to be one of them.

Before I walked, I used those specious arguments and claimed there was "undue emphasis" on breast cancer. I just didn't know, then, the things I know now.

I'm so sorry the cancer is coming back to bite you. And I so understand you don't want to fight anymore. Think about this, if you want to: let somebody else in your life be strong for awhile; all you HAVE to do is Show Up for life and you'll BE fighting the good fight. Am I making any sense? I know I don't really know what you're going through, but that's my $0.02 for now.

Good luck. :)
Carole Furr

17ef90ec-f15c-11e0-ad4f-000bcdcb8a73 said...

Bridget, I just shared your story in my group Martha's Angels on f/b. To be so young and wise beyond your years, I feel so humbled. I don't know what to say. What can i say. You will be in my thoughts and prayers and I hope that some of my fighting spirit you will feel. I lost my sister 5 mos. ago and I haven't stopped fighting for those who have lost and those who are survivors. I won't stop fighting until I take my last breath. In my heart i will fight for you too.

Teresa (The Pink Angels) & Amanda (Youth Corps) said...

Tomorrow we wear pearls in honor of you. You have touched all our lives in so many different ways. You remain in our thoughts and prayers now and always. Please feel our strength and know you are loved.

Kelly said...

I just came across your blog. I'm so sorry to hear your news. I have melanoma and I know how scary it it to have to fight for your life. I wish you the best of luck in our fight! I'll be praying for you!

XoXo

Penny K said...

You are loved. Beyond measure. But you know that. Sending STRENGTH and LOVE and PEACE. And on special note...all of the above for your Mommy.

pinkim said...

Hey Bridget, well this just sucks doesn't it!?! I am so sorry!!! I have to tell you that, first of all I love the new look, I am praying for you, and that this is a powerful piece, that I intend to share...
Stay strong, and stay pink. Kim Wright...

Anonymous said...

At tomorrow's Harpoon Brewery Octoberfest Race in Windsor, Vermont, we runners will raise some serious $$$ for Norris Cotton Cancer Center. We will kick cancer in the teeth!

http://cancer.dartmouth.edu/

Anonymous said...

Dear Bridget, I hate this news about your health. You’ve faced adversity again and again and you continue to stand tall and fight. I take my queue from you. I give my time to kick this disease in the ass every day. I know you’ve endured overwhelming obstacles, more than most could manage in a lifetime, but I also know that you have strength, courage, fortitude and heart like no other. Know that you are not alone in this fight -- all who love you will be fighting alongside with you. Wherever you go, you always bring your own sunshine so shine on Bridget and we will be there with you every step of the way. All things good, Sue Pernice

Jess Bancroft said...

Bridget, I know you meet so many people on the 3-day that you won't remember me, but I certainly could never forget you. I met you this summer in Boston and to say you are admirable and an inspiration is a vast understatement. I am truly sorry for all that you are going through. You have touched many lives and there are so many of us cheering you on. There are no words I can say that will make anything "right" right now, but I wanted you to know that you are thought of everyday. Keep fighting, this world is a better place because of you.

Anonymous said...

Bridget,
I connected to your post through my friend Patty Mathews. I'm sending all of my best possible energy. What a battle you have had and still face.
Gini

Mandi - www.DarnGoodLemonade.com said...

I appreciate your view on October, this is my first year watching the month from the "other side" of cancer. I think all money for research is a good thing, more treatments, better solutions and more help in your fight!

Anonymous said...

Because of you, because of this post - I made the decision to register for the 3-Day again next year. I walked this year, just about 18 months after my diagnosis. The fear every day of the beast returning is REAL. I have no control over cancer - but fighting for me - and for others - that is something I CAN DO.

I will pray for you. Another treatment, an advancement, HEALING. I will pray for you. And for all of us who fear the beast, who takes more than just our breasts - but our freedom to live.

Sending you many hugs and much love....

Stacey
Captain of Bullets 4 Boobs - Seattle 2012

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry that you received this bad news. Hang tough. You are an inspiration to so many and you, as do all our fighters, deserve a lifetime. I am praying for you,

Winnie said...

Bridget my prayers are with you honey. You are the most amazing woman I know. Bad news is not welcome. God will take care of you he keeps us all close to his heart. Bridget enjoy every min. of your life honey. You have made such an impact in my life. Love you and I am keeping you close to my heart in my prayers.

IslandGirl said...

Bridget, you have my love and every bit of positive energy that I can send through the airwaves.

Cezanne said...

hon~no matter the color....they are ALL important. I was 11 when my father passed of Ewings Sarcoma...is there a color for that? NO...so it is PINK that I fight for, knowing that in the PINK, I am fighting for ALL cancers.
You amaze me everyday at your strength and courage and will to FIGHT. I want to take away the pain anyway I can...I will wear PINK 24 hours a day forever and be PROUD to do so.

You are in my daily prayers. Please find comfort in knowing that so many people (SO MANY) are praying for you and that speaks volumes about YOU as you personally touched all of them. That in of itself is truly AMAZING! God Bless my sweet friend.... Cezanne

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry to hear this news. I hope and pray that things will improve.

Pink Baby Lee said...

Bridget,

I wish there was something I could say, or I could do to make this better for you! You are in my thoughts and my prayers. I will keep walking and wearing my pearls. This year I walked in Boston, I walked in DC and I will be walking in Tampa. I wear a hat full of ribbons for fighters, survivors, and the taken. I carry a ribbon for you!!!! Keep fighting.

Hugs,
Lisa Cummings

Liliana Holtzman said...

Sweet Bridget, I send you love and hugs and best wishes.
One day at the time, angel girl.
Liliana

Anonymous said...

Praying hard for you, Bridget.

lilo126 said...

Bridget, I am praying for you that you get GOOD news at your next visit. Your news inspires me to raise as much as I can to find you a cure. That, my support and e-hugs are what I can give you today. In Love & Friendship, Priscilla

Jenn from WA said...

I hate that it just won't stop. It angers me that people are still arguing over something like a pink ribbon. In Nancy Brinker's book she talks a bit about the backlash of too much pink, and her response is basically - that's exactly what they want to happen. Pink being everywhere, in front of everyone's eyes etc. I say, the more the pink the better the day!

Anonymous said...

Bridget - I have never met you but fortunately I stumbled upon your blog. For a little over a year I have followed your blog and find myself checking at the beginning of the month to see if you have written an update. You are a wonderful woman. I wish that this October to raise breast cancer awareness I could dress in pink and let you rest and fight for you. Even if it were just for a day, a week or month just fight your fight and allow you to be free. Since I can't make that happen I am going to keep praying for your continued, renewed strength and praying that you can regain control.
With Hope and Love, you are in my prayers.

Brooke H. said...

A friend of yours from your walk team shared your blog with me. I am so sorry for your continued struggle.

Even though we don't know each other, I wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your honesty and the open-style communication of your blog. I have found that many times people don't realize that in their desire to provide support to a cancer fighter/survivor, they unintentionally take away the ability for the person dealing with the serious health crisis to express their true emotions. You are a true testament that real inspiration does not come from putting on a brave face or being strong for others, but sharing your fears and frustration.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer 16 months ago. I wanted to walk with your team the last two years, but was not healthy enough to train. I will be walking with your team next year....and I hope to do it by your side.

I will pray that your cancer responds to your latest round of treatments and that it returns to its' chronic state. I will also pray that you find comfort and guidance as you continue on your journey.

And, this October, while you are shaving you hair, me and my friends will be putting pink streaks in ours to raise money. I will put in an extra on for you!

Unknown said...

Bridget, I am so sorry. I wish I could make it all go away. In five weeks, I'll walk the 60 mile journey in Phoenix that you inspired one rainy night so long ago. I wish that was enough to make a difference for you. You are in my prayers.
Connie

Laur said...

Hi Bridget,
I've been reading your blog after my mom told me about it recently. I've met your mom at church, as I think we got married around the same time, and our mom's know each other. Anyways, being an oncology nurse for many years, this touches my heart as I read your blog. You are such an amazing girl and I swear half the battle is in your head…you are doing an awesome job at that! I wanted to let you know I was thinking and praying for you. I also have a blog, and with your permission, I would love to do a post including your blog, so everyone can send prayers your way. My mom and I always do Race for the Cure, and we will be thinking about you every step of the way!

EGD said...

Bridget, it was wonderful to see your smiling face in your beautiful wedding photo today. It is equally heartbreaking to read that you are faced with yet another setback. Cancer has so many lessons, perhaps the cruelest is that life is not fair. It is not fair and it doesn't make sense. Sending you a big, pink, sparkly hug and all of my best energy. You deserve nothing short of magic! love, elise

Casey M said...

Hi Bridget,

It's Casey from the winery this past weekend! Meg and I have been reading your blog and it is truly inspirational. I have already sent it along to almost everyone I know. Stay strong and I hope to see you (and Daisy) again someday! :)

<3

Kimberley said...

Bridget, You do not know me as we have never met. I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself while recovering from my 10th surgery since being diagnosed with stage 3 Breast Cancer almost 2 years ago when my husband forwarded your Blog, which he received from a good friend of his, Candice Kiss. Your message was exactly what I needed to hear at exactly the right time. I am deeply saddened by your ongoing challenges and that the cancer is so invasive. That being said; I am so inspired by your honesty, courage and your fight. I have not allowed myself to be "scared" publicly, but when you said it, I knew I could let go. I have sent your Blog to some family members as you speak and articulate yourself in a way I never could.You not only speak for yourself, but for many of us who have yet to find our voices. I will keep you in my prayers and fight along with you. Thank-you for making today a little easier and for giving me the courage to put on "My Big Girls Pants" and get it done! With light and love, Kimberley xo

Anonymous said...

I don't know you. Yet I feel I'm getting to know you.

I consider myself very blessed. I haven't fought breast cancer. The nearest I've been touched is through colleagues and by participating in the 3-Day.

Yet, you inspire me to fight - for you, and for others.

Thank you.

Karen B. said...

I just wanted to say I love the new look of your blog!! Also, just wanted to add I love reading your blog. You are such a wonderful writer. Good Luck in your treatment. You are a huge inspiration.

Anonymous said...

Bridget,
I hate hearing this kind of news from you. You do need a break woman. I pray so hard that you are able to get in control of the cancer again, to go on and live out more of your dreams. You have brought so much to so many with your stories and experiences and through your cancer but I feel like you have so much more to teach us...things you cannot do if the cancer wins. Bridget, if I could pass the share WILL from my body to yours right now, I would be kicking cancer's ass right out of you. I am so mad at this disease right now. I am doing everything I can this month to raise $$ and awareness & make this month pink and now, I will go a step further and share your story with those I haven't already. Please take care of yourself and be gentle with yourself but keep your inner fighter going, too. We need you.
Your soul survivor sisters...we look up to you, even the ones who are older than you.
Heather Schiavo

joinourloop said...

I think your blog is fabulous. I look at a lot of them and it is one of my favorites. The graphics are unique and iconic, and your personality shines through.

I am kind of with you on the pink wars. While I don't want to see marketers abusing the pink ribbon, I don't think we need to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

You are a vibrant and talented spokesperson for the cause.

Anonymous said...

Bridget,
How did u not give up hope? My friend found a lump 6weeks ago. She ignored it. Thought to herself that breast cancer only happens to older women, not to 26 year olds. Today we just found out she is stage IV and it is in her bones and liver. I feel absolutely hopeless. I don't know what to say or how to react. I was online and found ur website. I have hope now. I read ur back story and thanks to u I feel like I can have 5 more years with her. Good luck to u both in ur upcoming battles. This is a very important war you are fighting.

Anonymous said...

Hi Bridget -

My friend and I walked with you and heard your story in 2010 live in Washington, D.C. I have been following your blog ever since and lift you before the Lord as often as I remember.

My prayers for you in this next stage of your war is that you draw close to Jesus and find your rest and peace in Him. If there is anything I can do to help you with your spritual journey, please don't hesitate to contact me. I am praying and have hope that God will bless you with a cure for this awful disease.

Love,
Amanda

Laur said...

http://sweetandtreats.blogspot.com/2011/10/think-pink.html

Thinking of you!

Daily Mom said...

Bridget...just got the link to your blog. It was so great seeing you at reunion earlier this month, and know what we are all fighting right beside you.


xoxo
Sarah

DAVID HAAS said...

Hello,
I have a question about your blog. Please email me!
Thanks,
David

Anonymous said...

Bridget, we've never met, but I've been a regular reader of your blog for some time. As someone who's been through different types of cancer with several loved ones in their 20s -- including my husband -- I find your perspective invaluable. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences so eloquently. I'm so sorry about your recent bad news; I'm rooting for you and wish you comfort and strength as you fight this newest battle.

Sincerely, CM in NYC

My Heart To Yours said...

Hi Bridget!

You don't know me but I found out about your blog through a friend of yours, Sarah, a fellow Pets on Wheels participant. I too have suffered from breast cancer and had a mastectomy in April 2010. I've not gone through anything such as you are experiencing and as of this time I am cancer free, PRAISE GOD! I just wanted you to know that you have another praying for you and to remind you that the Lord is in control and that yours days are numbered in HIS Book and that nothing will separate you from the love of God. I pray the Lord will continue to comfort and give you peace throughout this journey and all the wisdom, direction and support you need. May you sense His presence as never before and His loving arms wrapped ever so tightly around you to keep you and preserve you. Blessings to you, my sister. XOXO

Carrie said...

Bridget, I am so sorry you are going through this. I am always thinking of you. You have such an amazing spirit. I know that is getting through some of this. Along with strength, courage, and determination. Hugs and prayers being sent your way always. If there is anything I can do besides raising awareness please let me know!!! I love you!! xo

corallevang said...

Bridget...on the eve of my flying to San Diego, and just 10 days before I will be preparing myself to walk the San Diego walk the next morning, I revisited your blog and read your stories once again.

My heart breaks to hear of this bad news. And know that I will continue to walk...in pink as a survivor...for all who have heard the diagnosis of breast cancer.

This year I walk for so many; know you are on the list. I'll be bringing someone along with me. His name is Jeff Little. He was 32. You can read his and my story on my blog through my name link.

You are my heroine. And I love you.

Mrs Evans Science Blog said...

Bridget, I first heard about your story through Chris and Pam, who I think used to work with you on the three day. I have recently begun working for Komen and am a breast cancer survivor too. I just wanted you to know how much your blog has inspired me. I have reread your posts several times and each time they make me laugh and cry and vow to do more to end breast cancer forever. Please know that, although we have never met, my thoughts are with you every day. Just remember,as they said on the movie Galaxy Quest (and yes, I am that kind of geek) "Never Give Up, Never Surrender!

Anonymous said...

You don't know me but I have been reading your blog for sometime so I feel like I know you. I just wanted to let you know that your are in my thoughts and prayers.

Kelly McDonnell said...

Bridget, I am new to your blog and have read it back to front. I am sadden to hear of your latest scan results. You have been on my mind since I found your story. I just wanted to reach out and send healing energy your way.

Stiney said...

Bridget, I check your blog everyday for news. I hope you're doing well with the new treatments, kicking cancer butt.

Sarah Foster said...

Dear Bridget, hello, I'm Sarah from Melbourne, Australia and a friend has passed on your beautiful blog to me. I recently started using the expression 'Big Girl Pants' - I'm not even sure where I heard it first - as part of the narrative I write about with regard to my life, and so it was with real interest that my friend received your blog and shared it with me. May I just say, you are indeed, the absolute living, breathing example of a gal puttin' on her BGP's! I'm 48 and have only recently made a big step forward from the black hole I have been in stuck in for a few years - hence my use of the term to wearing my BGP's - but I am quietly humbled as I read your news as to this very big reality that you are dealing with. My heart is full of admiration and respect for you. I had non-hodgkins lymphoma in 2007 - I had a tumour sitting in front of my spine - and my (then) husband of 14 years walked out on me after my first cycle of chemo to start a relationship with another woman, while I was standing in the kitchen watching my hair fall out on the floor. To describe that time as the worst period of my life is mild. So darlingheart, I know very well the feelings of terror and the tears that can be visited upon a woman as she is struggling for her life, and so I am dumbstruck at your dignity and spirit in the face of this cruel blow. It is clear you have so much love around you, both from your family and friends and the many wonderful people who are following you here. It's obvious that by enduring this bloody tough journey, you are making this HUGE difference to so many people all over the world. Though I hope you FEEL the energy and vitality of their love and support coming right back at beautiful YOU. I'd like to share your blog with the women on my Facebook page, and so please know that there are women 'down under' who are thinking of you and sending you their healing thoughts and loving prayers. I know you are weary. I know you are frightened. Somehow though, dear Bridget, you WILL prevail. Keep fighting. Keep shining. Most importantly though, do keep believing. Sending you peace, love and light.

Marsi White said...

Bridget, I am about in the same spot you are, less confirmed cancer in my lungs. You remind me to be brave. You inspire me. Keep fighting and I will be right behind you, swinging a bat the size of Texas. Xxoo.

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